hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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