It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize