Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
