Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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