I'm lost and stupid without you.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
