Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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