Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
