I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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