i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
