mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
