My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
