I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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