oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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