Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize