I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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