I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
