This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
