You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
