i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You left your phone here
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