I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize