so let's talk penis.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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