this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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