I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
