that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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