Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
