At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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