Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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