i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
