I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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