he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
