don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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