Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We left the knife in your bed.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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