smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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