That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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