Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
