I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
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It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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