Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize