That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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