Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
