it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
