He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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