so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
