talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize