i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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