yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Found your dick twin last night
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
