Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I could have mohawked her pubes.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize