After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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