I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
