did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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