Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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