AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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