o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
