I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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