She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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