He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
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he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
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rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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