Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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