I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
