So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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