go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
