Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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