I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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